Trying for a baby after miscarriage
After the shock and grief of a miscarriage, you will inevitably question whether, or when, you are going to try again. It may be a given that you still want a baby, but the premature end of your previous pregnancy will almost certainly have erased some of the romantic glow from the process.
Criteria to consider the next time around are your current health, age, fitness, the need for medical intervention, your doctor’s advice and your state of mind.
“When is it okay to try again?” is often one of the first questions to arise after a miscarriage, either in your own mind or in questions from others. Some doctors will say that, all being well, 3 months is a good amount of time to wait after a miscarriage. Others will suggest that an otherwise healthy patient only needs to wait until she has had one menstrual period before trying to conceive. However, the health of your reproductive system is only one aspect of readiness. Healing needs to be deep and complete, both physically and emotionally.
Miscarriage is hard on the body and can cause you to feel physically depleted. It isn’t unusual for a woman to feel that she wants to, or has to, jump right back in and try again, but at the same time worry that she isn’t up to it. It could be that you have not recovered fully and need to build up your strength and stamina. Ask your GP for a once-over health check, paying attention to your appetite, sleep, energy levels and hormone levels.
“Will I ever get over it?” Grief is healed through the re-discovery of your own purpose, other blessings in your life and the perspective of time, but sadness can linger for a long time. As long as the sadness doesn’t take a primary position and prevent you from healing, it’s okay to accept it as part of your life. Completeness is about thoroughly examining your feelings, your intentions and your values and reassessing the validity of your goal. Rushing the process could result in additional stress, sleepless nights and high emotion.
- Do you feel resilient; as if you have been able to pick yourself up, put your disappointment aside and look forward to the future? Or;
- Do you feel fearful or hopeless?
Your thoughts will affect your behaviour and very possibly, your outcome.
The influence of positivity and negativity – Your negative thoughts, sadness, anger and stress are all understandable responses to a miscarriage. How quickly you move through various feelings or thought processes to a state of readiness is unique to your
circumstances and how you respond. The stress caused by negativity has been known to interrupt reproductive function, which may affect your periods, ovulation, fertilisation and/or implantation of the embryo. Conversely, when you learn to trust your body again and regain an attitude of positivity, your mind and your body begin to work together again.
While you are healing from a miscarriage and then, when you try to conceive again, the most important thing is to take the best possible care of yourself. It’s vital that you are authentic here as trying to appear fine, while feeling anything but, will almost certainly work against you. When you can honestly tell yourself that you feel strong, have renewed hope and are prepared for risk, then you will be able to move forward confidently with a more positive and confident pregnancy and birth.
You may also like: Ovulation Calculator
Get pregnant by finding out your most fertile period using our ovulation calculator.