When to tell people that you’re pregnant

Desperate to tell people you are pregnant and struggling to wait until the ‘conventional’ 12th week of pregnancy? Fertility and Family Building Coach, Lisa Marsh, looks at things you may want to consider if you want to share your good news before hand.

When do I tell people I'm Pregnant!

Why wait 12 weeks?

There are no hard and fast rules about when to announce your pregnancy, however, many women have adopted the 12-week milestone. It makes sense for several reasons:

  • More miscarriages occur in the first trimester, so 12 weeks represents safety;
  • Most women will begin showing after 12 weeks, so they get to keep the secret  between them and their partner until then; and
  • Many women who are employed do not want to bring their pregnancy into the workplace until absolutely necessary.

However, what may have begun as an individual reason has been loosely adopted as convention, making some people uncomfortable when told of a pregnancy at a much earlier stage. While you are so excited about your life-changing state that you bubble over and spill the news at 3, 4 or 5 weeks along, they may be concerned about how you will cope if something goes wrong, or how they will be called upon to support you.

So, should you keep your baby news to yourself until the 12th week to spare their discomfort? It’s really up to individual choice.  Even women who have had an unsuccessful pregnancy previously will differ in their views; some wanting to validate the new pregnancy by telling close friends, others wanting to keep the pregnancy private to protect themselves from well-meaning but painful questions and comments. It’s not necessarily a question of etiquette, but one of sensitivity.

Things to consider before 12 weeks

  • First and foremost, discuss and agree the decision to tell people about the pregnancy with your partner.
  • Think about what you will achieve by sharing your news.
  • Choose your confidantes carefully, based upon your relationship and their need to know.
  • Understand that some people may not react exactly how you expect, and that this may come from their own experience of pregnancy, or their concern for you.
  • Do what makes you feel most comfortable.

Photograph:

Robert Scoble @ Flickr

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